{"id":167,"date":"2016-10-08T20:40:22","date_gmt":"2016-10-08T20:40:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/?p=167"},"modified":"2016-10-08T20:40:22","modified_gmt":"2016-10-08T20:40:22","slug":"inkys-tai-chi-class","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/?p=167","title":{"rendered":"Inky\u2019s Tai-Chi Class"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Attention my human subjects!\u00a0 It is I, Inky \u201cthe Magnificent,\u201d here to get your sorry species in shape by showing you the true path to enlightenment through proper conditioning.<\/p>\n<p>First, find a nice warm blanket. Next lie flat on your back upon said blanket. Drift off to sweet oblivion. Hold pose for six hours (experts will do so for longer).\u00a0 In the midst of your torpidity, you should achieve a level of repose such as I\u2019m showing here.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/Inky-tai-chi.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-168\" src=\"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/Inky-tai-chi-168x300.jpg\" alt=\"inky-tai-chi\" width=\"168\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/Inky-tai-chi-168x300.jpg 168w, https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/Inky-tai-chi.jpg 547w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 168px) 100vw, 168px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Once reaching this \u201cTai-Chi\u201d state, your forelimbs will make gentle concentric circles of their own volition. You reach the highest state if your hands dangle from your wrists. However, if you find your joints stiffening or \u201cfreezing in place\u201d after being in this pose for a while, it probably means you\u2019re dead and rigor mortis is setting in.<\/p>\n<p>Thus concludes today\u2019s class. Dismissed.<\/p>\n<p>Your Omniscience,<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Inky\u2019<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Attention my human subjects!\u00a0 It is I, Inky \u201cthe Magnificent,\u201d here to get your sorry species in shape by showing you the true path to enlightenment through proper conditioning. First, find a nice warm blanket. Next lie flat on your back upon said blanket. Drift off to sweet oblivion. Hold pose for six hours (experts &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/?p=167\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Inky\u2019s Tai-Chi Class<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-167","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/167","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=167"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/167\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":171,"href":"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/167\/revisions\/171"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=167"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=167"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=167"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}