{"id":47,"date":"2014-09-02T22:55:48","date_gmt":"2014-09-02T22:55:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/?p=47"},"modified":"2014-09-04T19:38:10","modified_gmt":"2014-09-04T19:38:10","slug":"another-message-from-the-marketing-director","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/?p=47","title":{"rendered":"Another Message From the Marketing Director"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Greetings, My Subjects!<a href=\"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/112512-Ink-in-the-Grass.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-medium wp-image-48\" src=\"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/112512-Ink-in-the-Grass-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"112512 Ink in the Grass\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/112512-Ink-in-the-Grass-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/112512-Ink-in-the-Grass-1024x768.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/09\/112512-Ink-in-the-Grass.jpg 1280w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Today, I will discuss a topic that may be sensitive to your inattentive ears, but is important in improving your status as a species.\u00a0 The topic: sleep deprivation.\u00a0 You humans have got your hours backward.\u00a0 It\u2019s not eight hours asleep and sixteen hours awake.\u00a0 It is sixteen hours asleep and eight hours awake.<\/p>\n<p>You have a saying, \u201cthe early bird gets the worm.\u201d\u00a0 Two things in rebuttal.\u00a0 First, really???\u00a0 You\u2019re admiring birds?!\u00a0 For shame!\u00a0 You only admire birds when they\u2019re deep-fried using the Colonel\u2019s special recipe.\u00a0 Otherwise, they\u2019re carriers of disease, ignorant, and frustratingly airborne.\u00a0 But delicious.<\/p>\n<p>Did I say \u201ctwo things?\u201d\u00a0 Yes!\u00a0 Secondly, the correct quote is \u201cthe early bird tried to get the worm, but was captured by the more alert cat.\u201d\u00a0 And I\u2019m more alert at 4 A.M. because I had been sleeping since 8 P.M.\u00a0 And I will go back to sleep at 8 A.M.\u00a0 and sleep until 4 P.M.<\/p>\n<p>See how that works?\u00a0 The more you sleep, the more energy you have conserved for the eight hours you only need to be awake.\u00a0 Your inefficient sleeping patterns are contributing to your mediocre status in the hierarchy.\u00a0 I mean, how many hours of \u201cHoney Boo-Boo\u201d must you watch before you might think, \u201chey, it might be best for me to sleep now, so I can be awake at 4 in the morning to serve \u2018Inky\u2019 breakfast and give him unconditional love and homage.\u00a0 It\u2019s been quite selfish of me to sleep until 7.\u201d\u00a0 At least then you would be serving the greater good.<\/p>\n<p>Until next time.<\/p>\n<p>Your Omniscience,<\/p>\n<p>\u2018Inky\u2019<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Greetings, My Subjects! Today, I will discuss a topic that may be sensitive to your inattentive ears, but is important in improving your status as a species.\u00a0 The topic: sleep deprivation.\u00a0 You humans have got your hours backward.\u00a0 It\u2019s not eight hours asleep and sixteen hours awake.\u00a0 It is sixteen hours asleep and eight hours &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/?p=47\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Another Message From the Marketing Director<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[11,4,12],"class_list":["post-47","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-marketing","tag-cat-marketing","tag-cats","tag-sleep-deprivation"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=47"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":49,"href":"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47\/revisions\/49"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=47"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=47"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.hometownestateplanning.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=47"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}